Horoscopped

HOROSCOPPED

Prologue:

I slowly opened my eyes. I could not see anything clearly, all I could see was a few people standing around me and I was on a bed. A guy wearing a white overcoat patted on my shoulders and said,” Don’t worry, you are fine now”. What the…? What did he mean by that? As if I am not alright.

“ What the heck happened to you man????”, somebody asked me, in fact somebody shouted at me. That really helped me to wake up completely. Everything became clear to me now. Yeah, I am in a hospital and the doctor was consoling me. I saw the glucose bottle hung near to me. And the guy who was shouting at me was none other than my colleague in Infosys, my close friend, Prasanth. But again, the same doubt rang in my mind..What the….? Why am I in a hospital? What happened to me?

“Tell me yaar, what happened to you???”, Prasanth was shaking my arm now. I looked at him thinking,”I am also trying to figure out the same thing man.

“Let him relax. Give him some air and time to think. Prasanth, come to my cabin. I will tell about the medicines that you are required to buy”, the doctor said to Prasanth. He smiled at me and left the room.

I was still confused. I tried to remember what might have happened to me last night. Why the heck am I lying on this hospital bed along with a glucose stand by my side!!! I looked at a calendar on the wall. The date showed 8^th November, 2013. What is so special of that date, damnit. I looked away and was still thinking and then it struck me. I looked back at the calendar again and looked at the previous date. 9^th November !!! A date I will never forget in my life. A date that changed my life. A date that brought me into this hospital bed. Now everything was clear. I know what happened last night. Everything came dawning on to me now. My mind travelled 8 years back…..

“ Pass !! Paasss!!! Pass the ball idiot!!!”, I was shouting to Anup who was running with the football. I was left unmarked at the right wing and  I was almost certain to score a goal if I get the ball. But he kept on running with ball, dribbling and was not giving the pass. And finally he lost the ball. Damn, that was a goal if he had passed, I thought. I turned back and jogged back to my playing position and then I saw  a group of girls walking along the road to our school building. ‘Who are they?’, I thought as it has been almost two weeks after the school had re-opened. The road was very close to our football ground and I could clearly see that there were five of them. I asked Sanjay, my  team-mate(obviously class-mate) about them and he said they might be the new admissions and could have come to see the campus. I watched them. Yeah, they seem to be the new admissions to the XIth standard, except one. I saw a little girl in golden yellow churidar who was surprisingly short. ‘ May be an eighth standard admission’, I thought.

“Vishal, take the passsss!!!!! “, Anup’s shout woke me up from my thoughts and I ran with the ball forward. I went past two defenders and directed the ball to the right corner of the goal and hell yeah, I scored ! GOAL! My team-mates were ecstatic and cheers and roars were all around. The group of the five new girls turned their heads hearing the big buzz. That was the first time I met with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.

Next day, when I entered the class, I was surprised to see the little girl sitting on the very first bench. This girl in XIth standard? In disbelief I walked to my place, obviously the last bench.

I never was close with any girl in my school and did not mind to know the names of the new comers of our class.

“ Hey, It’s been almost two weeks. You are not going to talk to them?”, Rimi asked me.

“ Why should I??? If they want let them come and talk to me and my friends.”, yeah, that was me. It’s not because of my arrogant attitude, but just because I was shy in talking to girls. But the girls in my class thought that I am a guy with  attitude. By the way, I came to know her name…Revati.

She was very active in the class and she and her group became the pets of the teachers very quickly. She became the topper of the class exams after exams. The geek-guy, Jagan, became close friends with her. Obviously, geeks find friends amongst geeks only. We always used to tease Jagan along with her name. And he liked it…Idiot!

Two years passed. Obviously , she became the school topper in Class XIIth Board Exams. I did not even say ‘congrats’. Why should I? I am not even close to her. Not even a distant friend.

I joined an Engineering College. Time passed. I was the same guy as ever. No friends from the female species. I was the ‘silent-guy’ in the college and the ‘violent-guy’ in the hostel. It was great time in the hostel with a new bunch of friends. Watching movies, playing football, boozing almost every week , playing cards every night and the only thing we kept aside was the text-book kit, which was unopened.

Days passed by. One day, I got the mobile number of Revati from one of my school friends. I just saved the number and forgot it. But I got forwards from her on a regular basis and I thought It’s not good to be not responding. I also started sending forwards to her and slowly we became friends.

One night, I was playing cards and simultaneously I was chatting with Revati on my cell phone. I asked her:

“ How is Jagan? How is everything going?  ;-) “

No reply .

I re-sent the message.

No reply again.

Oops..did I ask anything wrong? I was about to send a ‘sorry for asking’ message. But then my message tone beeped. She said :

“ Please don’t ask about him. I don’t like that”

I replied:

“why? What happened? “

“ Nothing, I don’t like you people teasing me with him. There is nothing like what you guys think”

Then, the unthinkable happened. I typed in:

“ Oh, so have I got a chance ? ;-)”

I don’t know from where I got the courage to ask that. It was like someone made me type those words. Obviously, that someone was God.

I was expecting an angry message in reply. A message that shouts at me. But what came was:

“ What? Are you serious?”

Now, I decided to play the game.

“Yeah”

“Please stop making fun of me”

“No, I am serious, believe”

“ how can I trust you? I know you are playing jokes”

“ I am serious. If you can, believe me”

I had my plans . If she says no, I will say that the whole thing was a prank. Otherwise…no, that wont happen. No girl will like me.

I even thought the other way round. She might be playing the same game. She, with her friends, might be trying to make an ass out of me. A message beep brought me back from my thoughts.

“ Call me”, she replied.

What???? I have never talked to a girl in phone. I became nervous. Why is she asking me to call? To laugh at me with her friends? No, I wont stand that. I am not calling.

Another message came:

“ Call me , NOW!”

I did not. I did not have the courage to call her. That too, in the night. No, no chance.

Two minutes passed. My phone rang. The display showed : Revati calling.

Omg!! What should I do now?? I thought of the evil laughs of a group of girls. No No No…I am not taking the call. The call ended unattended.

Again!!! The phone rang again.  She was calling me again!! No, I am not taking. But, as if someone was controlling me, my fingers pressed the ‘attend’ button.

“H…e..Hello?”, I said. Nervous.

“ Hello? Vishal?”, her voice.

“Eh? Er..Yeah”, my voice. Again nervous.

“ I am at my home. Cant speak for long. Now tell me. Are you serious about what you said through message?”, she asked.

“ Er…Yeah…Yeah”, I said. No, I am not serious. But why the hell I am saying ‘Yes’ !!

“ Oh..ok..I will tell you in two days. I have to think. Ok? “, she said.

“ohhK…”, what else could I have said!

She hung up. I could not control my happiness. But I did not burst out my emotions. I could not sleep that night, thinking all about what could be her answer when she calls in two days. It was the cricket world cup season. As India was piling up runs on the board, my heart was padding up for an important game of my life: I may get bowled out or I can hit a six of my lifetime!

Since I did not sleep the whole night, I bunked the next day classes and slept merrily  in my hostel room. In the evening, I got ready for my usual football match and as I was leaving to the ground, my phone rang. It was her, Revati. I thought for a moment and took the call.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Vishal?”

“Yeah, Hi”

“ Hi, I thought about the thing you asked me. And I called you….”

“But you told me that you will call me tomorrow only na?”, I interfered.

“Yeah, but I did not want to stretch this more. That’s why I called you today itself.”, she said.

“ Oh, Ok, ….so…” I wanted to ask it, but I could not.

“ So…If you are not lying, and if you are looking for a life-long relationship , then ….”, she stopped.

“Then?????”  I became anxious.

“Then… I am ready”, she replied.

“Oh thnx” I said blankly. Yeah, that dumb was my reply. Normally guys would jump in joy when a girl accepts his proposal. But I did not even move. But, hell yeah, I was very happy.

“What??? Thanks?” , she asked,perplexed.

“I mean..yeah,,,for accepting my request…I am really happy…”  I said

I could hear her smile.

“Hey, I am going to play…catch you later…”, I loved football more at that time. And I made it clear by saying like that.

“Do you really want to go?? I mean..can we talk a bit?”, she asked

I thought for a moment and replied, “ Ohk,.sure”

A girl can change your priorities so fast. And from that moment I loved her more than football.

“Tell me about you…your family and everything”, she said.

I told her about my father, mom, brother and all details about my family.

I stopped talking. Silence for a few seconds.

“ Don’t you want to know anything about me?”, she asked.

Yeah, I want to. But I was wondering how to ask you, honey!!

“ Yeah, ofcourse”, I replied

She also repeated the same exercise I went through but not as boring as I did. She had a gift talking in such luring manner. I could sit with her for hours and will never get bored of her chats.

“We will call once in a week, ok?” she asked

“ Ok..fine” , I replied, eventhough I wanted more of the talks.

But that condition lasted only for that first week. We called everyday. Talked for hours. Became very close…closer than anyone would think. Yeah, I started to come out of lie. Now I love her more than anything. As she had said, I am ready for a life-long relationship with her.

As we were studying in different colleges, we saw seldom but still we could feel that the bond between us was getting stronger everyday. Once she had said that she loves me more than her parents. I was happy but advised her that is not the right way. I was becoming more than a mere lover for her. I played a great role in making her love her parents more than what she did before meeting me. We had fights ending with kisses, kisses ending in fights and even fights and kisses together.

She never expressed her care for me and I sometimes failed to understand her silent care. But somehow she had the magic in her to bring the mood between us to happy times. Her smile, her giggles, her anger, her stares, her tears everything had a magic..a magic that made me more and more fall into her…and I prayed always to God that please let me fall more and more into her so that I should never get out. And God listened.

My Mom and my bro knew about this relationship and even my Dad knew( he did not know that I knew that he knew). No one opposed. Everyone loved her also. Mom was so much as excited as I was. My bro started plans of teasing us in future when she comes to my home. Four years passed and she told about me at her home. Again, God was with us. No one opposed. In the meantime, she got placed in some software company and I was trying to crack CAT. Her parents wanted to make sure that this relation should be said and made done.

On 3^rd November, 2010, my Dad and my Mom visited them and handed over my horoscope as they were so orthodox about these religious beliefs. Yeah, everything was fine till then.

November 9^th, 2011, 12:30 a.m. It was raining heavily outside…thunder  struck everywhere…wind was blowing fiercely and no power at home. I was sleeping near to my brother and my phone rang. It was her. I picked up and I could here her crying.

“Hey, what happened?”, I asked. Worried.

She kept on crying.

“TELL!”, I asked

“Our thing….vishal….our thing…wont work out…..it wont work out Vishal….” , she was crying while she was telling this.

I almost dropped my phone. But I still thought this could be another prank from her.

“Tell me what exactly happened”, I asked

“Our…our horoscopes did not match…this will not happen..It’s over”

This time my phone dropped off from my hand. I picked it up and I could not tell anything.

I could feel tears down my cheeks. Oh God, I am crying. I stared out into the rain and was crying like hell. I could hear my girl crying on the other side of the phone. I could not stand that.

“I will call you back. Please don’t cry”, I told her

“Don’t know what to do now….what we will do, Vishal?” , she asked

I don’t know, Revu.

“ I will…I will call u back”

“Ok”

I hung up the phone and dug my face on to the pillow and cried like anything. I went downstairs and called Mom, hugged her and cried a lot. I told her everything. What can she do…I cried..cried…cried…could not call her…

Some people are that. They believe marriages are done between horoscopes, not between individuals. Even if two hearts love each other, it doesn’t matter, the stars in the sky decide their fate. And among 600 billion people around the world, only Indians’ fate is decided by the stars.

Days passed. She tried not to call me or message me. Yeah, she had reasons. Her parents stood by her till the last moment. Now she cant blame them. I cant blame her. I cant tell her to love someone whom she knew only for 4 years more than her parents who had loved her for 23 years. I could hear her voice only if I call her at least 20 times, that too once in a month. Yeah, she was going away from me…knowingly…and I know it hurts for her and me. I pushed my days by blaming God , falling into smoking and drinking.

I joined for my MBA course and I always kept myself busy so that I should not get time to think of her. But I forgot that God once granted me my wish that I should never get out of her. I lost my old charm, lost my enthusiasm, lost interest in doing anything, lost focus, felt like I lost everything. As time passed, I got placed in Infosys and I knew someday I will have to see her hand held by some idiot. I will have to see her living with that idiot. An idiot I always wanted to be.

9^th November, 2013. The day I feared the most had arrived. Surprisingly, my girl, oh sorry, Revati is getting married on the same day we parted. I went to my apartments and drunk like hell. Drunk till night. Wanted to sleep off forever. I did not want to wake up the next morning. Till that day, at least I believed that she was mine. But from tomorrow, she is not. I drunk , drunk till darkness crawled into my eyes.  

Epilogue:

“Hey, what happened to you , man?”, Prasanth asked as he came in with the medicines. That brought me back to reality. I looked at him for a few seconds.

“Tell me what happened”, he asked again

“ When you are just one step away from getting a thing that you wanted the most in life, you loved the most in life, and then God adds a fucking cruel twist and robs that away from you, what will you feel?”, I asked.

“What? Well, I will feel devastated”, he replied.

“ Exactly. What if that thing was your life? And since God robbed that thing which was your life, what is the option left with you?”

“Vishal….?”, Prasanth, looking terrified.

“ Exactly”, I said looking away from him

Enrique.....

They say love is just a game
They say time can heal the pain
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose
And I guess I'm just a fool, I keep holding on to you....

Don't you forget about me, baby
Don't you forget about me now
Some day you'll turn around and ask me
Why did I let you go?

Life is the most exciting suspense-thriller ever....you never know what happens next...when n where the twists n turns are...and when the climax comes!!!!

When you lose someone whom u wanted the most, u lose yourself and become a fake...every word, every step, every smile, everything becomes fake...just to show the world that : "yeah, I exist here"

A Sunday Diary

A SUNDAY DIARY

TRRNNNNNGGG!!!

I jumped from my bed when the alarm hit 6 am.
"Why the hell did I set my alarm this early on a fine Sunday?",i asked myself,disturbed.
Oops..i almost forgot that today i have to attend a marriage and i'l have to take a long drive alone.

"Hey Sree,please dont wake me up for tea or cofee.I wanna sleep.Tell me when you leave.Hmmm...",that was my wife murmuring under her blanket.Lovely.
Once again i just checked the wedding card to make sure the place where i have to go.On every occassion i get a wedding card,three words come into my mind..."SREEKUMAR weds REVATI MUKUNDAN"..hmmm..the sweetest moment in my life.Yes,ours was a love marriage.

TRRRNNGGGGG!!!!
The snooze in tha alarm woke me up from my thoughts.I rushed to the bathroom and had a quick shower and got ready in an hour.
"Hey Revz,m leaving...see you at in the evening...bye tak care"...I did not wait for a reply from her because no one can expect a reply from a sleeping wife.

The climate was cool.
"Aahh...nice day...i miss my blanket",i said to myself and tuned my FM into some chirpy music program.
As i drove by,i saw some school students on their bicycles,chattering each other.They were smiling,laughing and they seemed very happy.
I sighed.

I miss them..my school days..the most exciting and happy days of my life.I never loved my college days.But school was everything for me.It was my school that changed me,that gave me my Revz,that gave colors to my life and also Prianka...Prianka Krishnan...my special friend.
I drove my car to around 15 years back..........................

.

I was nervous and a little bit angry when i stepped into my new school when i was in 6th.I never wanted to miss my friends and my old school but i had no other go.I nervously entered the class and sat on the last bench.I had heard that the classes already started a few days ago and i joined late.The first period was English and a female teacher with specs entered the class and started asking questions.My heart began to beat faster and i started to sweat becuase i was weak at english.But suddenly a slim,oili-haired girl stood up and answered all the questions.Wow...thank God..she saved me..and that was the first time i saw her..prianka.

Days passed by and we became friends...she was a bubbly girl who always wanted to talk.Her eyes were big but liked them..they were beautiful.We played a lot...talked a lot...laughed a lot..but all these lasted for a year only.Gradually she kept herself away from me.I never knew why,even now i dont know the reason.For the next six years she was never friendly to me.At times,she talked to me,only when she was angry,just to call me STUPID.

But smehow, iwas falling more into her.Some may think, an 8th standard kid falling in love?Kinda wierd.But i will never say that what i had for her was love,but my feelings for her were special...
Whenever i cycled back home after the classes,i always searched for her eyes in the crowd...whenever i went by my school premises  i looked for her...i even hunted for her in theatres,supermarkets,hotels...and whenever i saw her or whenever she looked at me,it was like heaven for me.I have even prayed for her glances at me because  i loved her eyes...i even liked her "stupids" because even then she is talking to me...i always thought why the hell she is not coming back to me.what might i have done that wrong!
I buried my feelings for her within me and soon the school days were over.

HONK!HONK!!
OMG!that truck almost kissed my car.I woke up from my thoughts and i realised that i was hungry.I had my food from a motel nearby and resumed my trip.My trip to past....

After my school, i never heard about her for the next two years and in fact i never bothered to...because by that time,an angel conquered my heart and that angel is right now is sleeping on my bed.
But after two years,somehow i got her phone number and i tried to re-establish my friendship with her.the response was tremendous.She flooded my inbox with messages,called me frequently...as if she were missing me for a long time..and 8 years is in fact a long time.
She knew that i was in an affair and me too never hid that from her.She started confide everything in me..her sorrows and happy stuffs..everything.And one day she called me 'bhaiyya" and she really meant it.

We became so close that i was just like a member in her family.But one day,it happened.
I got a message from her but that was not for me but for some one else.It said: "......i had a crush for this guy.......name is Sreekumar......"...i was confused and called her and asked what was that for.At first she tried to run away from the question but finally she admitted it.She too had a crush on me...at the same time i had for her!

After the course she joined some company and never forgot to have contacts with me.But she fell in love with North Indian guy there.I was not at all happy with this.I always believed that i had a special position in her life and now some North Indian idiot is going to take over that.I couldnt stand it.But just because i loved her a lot i supported her.But after that i could feel that she was not the same again....

I reached the auditorium.I rubbed my eyes and checked my watch.Ah..well ahead of the muhurtam.As i stared on top of the auditorium,i saw those words:
******** weds Prianka Krishnan.
The board,which once i wanted my name on it..with hers.
I walked in.I saw her in wedding dress.Wow..that old skinny,oil-haired bubbly girl stands in front of me like a pretty princess.She smilied at me.Those big eyes were twinkling and seemed bigger due to the excitement.She touched my feet which i never expected.I blessed her as her bhaiyya.

i walked out and looked at the sky.I thought: " i am living in the seventh heaven with my angel...but there was always a sixth heaven where two hearts never talked each other..."
I turned back to see her again.There she was,smiling,happy with her husband.
Words came out of my mouth automatically",God bless you..Love you"....

25-03-2015,Sunday

A Father's Squall

A FATHER'S SQUALL

i opened my eyes..everything blurred..where am i? I can see people around me...why the hell my heart feels so heavy...why my eyes are filled with tears...What the hell happened to me?
Someone tapped me on my shoulders.Is that a doctor?Oh,so i am in a hospital.but WHY?I tried to remember what happened.But as the memories came rushing to me,i wished i should not have tried.........

"Indira! Wake up! The results are coming out today. Come on let us read the nespaper from Pandey Ji's", i was already in my shirt while i was waking my sleepy wife up.
"Ohh...it's jus 4 in the morning.atleast 3 more hours left. Will you please let the sun to rise",she replied and slipped back to sleep. i checked the watch.Yeah,it is just 4.I felt a bit embarassed.I was always a super-cool husband.
Hmm,i spoiled that.

I was thinking all the night about my daughter's Medical Entrance results and maybe,that's why i just freaked out now. i walked into my daughter's room and sat near her. My pretty girl was sleeping there with no tension at her face.Oh,no one will have tension while sleeping,except me.But why should i get tensed..My daughter,Diya,is the best student in her school.She has scored 98 percent inher 12th exams and has performed superbly in all her mock-entrance exams.Then why should i be in tension?? By morning,my dreams will come true.If Diya gets the Medical Entrance rank,she will be a doctor in 5 years! A doctore from this poor village! I have done everything i can do from what i get from my job. I work in a textile shop in the daytime and as a security in a bank at night. I barely sleep and have food.But the thought that it's for my daughter takes away all my worries and keeps me going.

"Raghav,wake up!",that was my wife shouting at me.She was all smiling at me when i opened my eyes. Oh,it's morning! i ran out and opened the door.Lot of people were outside.At first i thought,those were the people i owe money but
those were the media people.Yes,my daughter secured 3rd rank in the entrance exam!! Tears rooled own my cheeks and i saw my pretty Diya talking to the media. Oh, God is awesome!

She got admission to the best medical college in the City.I had fight with my emotions in sending her away but this was the moment i was waiting for years.I visited her every month and she was happy there and me too.But now i am going to visit after a 3 months gap.I got down at the City Bus Stand and bought some fruits for her,especially her favourite grapes.As i walked on,i saw a large crowd at the sub-way.I couldnt see what was happening there,so i asked a guy what was happening.
He replied,' Bhai sab,it is common here.somebody has been murdered and the body is dropped here". Oh! City life,i thought. may be some kind of gangwars.I cursed the goverment and walked to the hostel.I could see people competing each other to take the photos of the deadbody in their mobile-phones.Crazy people!
I reached the hostel and asked warden for Diya. She checked the register and replied," She went to another hostel last night to doa project work". I was sad that i couldnt see her after comin after 3 months.I gave the fruit pack to the warden and walked back to the Bus Stand.
I reached the City Bus Stand and went into a chai shop. The TV was on and the World Cup triumph news was going on.I sipped my tea and it had no sugar.I did not mind because i was watching the news. Suddenly a flash news came up:
" A 19-year old girl was raped and muedere last night. her body was thrown at the subway....", I bit my lips and my heart was thudding faster.."....The girl's name is Diya, a first-year student at the........."
The chai glass dropped off my hands and darkness rushed into my eyes..i could feel my head hitting the cement floor...

"Raghav...Raghav..",the doctor woke me up from my thoughts. I looked at my wife for a moment.she was devastated.I started crying....i could do nothing esle...but cry..cry as loud as i can..


It's been two years since Diya has gone.The light of my life has gone.
Ting-Ting. The cycle-bell of the newspaper boy. I picked up the newspaper and opened it.The headlines hit me right into my eyes:
"A 21-year old girl was kidnapped,raped and murdered last night.This is the forth in the last two months.The Govt............"

I took a deep breath and thought:  God is awesome?


the end(?)
Sreeraj K.R

Missed Call

She was crying.Tears all over her face and she was shouting dat she doesnt want to live nemore.I was standing by the table near to her in the police station.I was the one who was destined to ask her about everything she has just suffered through the last six months.yes,m a police officer.I was thinking all through ma career wat i cud do wearing this uniform...literally nothing,,,not even corrupt money...n i was also wondering wat mit hv happened to this girl whom we arrested last night.



"I dont want to live!!!"...i was awaken frm ma thots wid dat loud cry.I looked at her face.I cudn figure out a terrorist from dat face..yes...she was arrested for spreading terrorist ideologies. She had a cute face not exceeding twenty...fair n surely born in a gud family...then how??? dis qn kept on haunting me all d last night.



I slowly reached besides her. she was not talkin or tellin nethng even to the women police officers there.i felt as if she was looking for some kindness frm me frm her gaze towards me.



"Wat is ur name?",i asked. She did not reply.

"Ok,if ur not tellin nethng,v wont b able to help u",i said.

after a few seconds of silence,she spoke. "I dont want to live....I dn beleive neone!!!",she was crying.

"Tel me wat happened...i cn help u...v cn bring all those people who r behind dis in front of d law" , i treid again.

The response was quick.She said," Sir,i dnt want justice...no law can stop dis...they r evrywer...bt m tellin u ma story jus coz i dn want other gals of dis country to fall into this..."

I kept silent and looked at her eyes.Yes..she was burning...burning frm inside...i cud feel the fire of her anger...

"It all started frm a missed call",her eyes told me dat her mind is getting ready for a flashback.........





The mobile phone was ringing...She did not attend it coz she didn hv ne idea who was calling n she saw dat number gave her 9 miscals.She kept on reading the buk.

"Oh again!!!",she said as the phone rang for the seventh time.She tuk d call.

"Is dis Revati??",a male voice asked.

"yeah..who is dis?",she asked

"Hi m Salim...I jus saw u in d park today.U lukd pretty.I just....."

"Stop! Go to hell",she hung up the call.She was fuming.Although she had already heard her friends tellin about anonymous calls frm guys,dis was her first time.

The phone rang for  3 more times bt She did not respond.

Salim kept on callin n slowly She felt a sort of likeness towards him.She thot if he wer an eavesdropper,he wud hv jus got bored by dis time.One day,she tuk dat cal.

"Hi!",she said.'

"Hi!,i was wondering y u r nt attendin ma cals.Let me b frank.I likd u a lot n i want to know more abt u.daz y i kept on callin u".he was excited.

"i think...now i also lik u a bit...bt nt d way u think!!",She said.



But things grew as time passed.They fell in love.Salim was everything for her now.Salim got her watever she wanted.Dress,jewellery,new mobile n he even offered her a pep.HE told her that his father works in Dubai and he earns a lot of money.She beleived dat.The relation grew more strong n as usual they eloped.



"Read dis!!!", a fat woman was shouting at her.

"I wont...dis is wrong...hw can one kill in d name of God???""",she askd.

The fat women slapped her,not once,many times.The torture had begun.She resisted to her best..but...gradually she has to b one of them.She learned all the 'facts' the group had taught her..yes..she is now a terrorist seeking Jihad...not wid guns n bombs,bt wid words...pen! Salim was seen nower.He mit hv gone in search of his next prey,she thought.



She started campaigning for the group n recruite more people to the group.Many times she tried to escape n everytime she was caught n tortured.Even wen her tongue spat venomous words,her mind always thought"How cn smeone get killed in the name of God??""...but unfortunately dat is Jihad..the HOLY WAR!!!!



She was not crying now.I was stunned to hear all these.Love a weapon for terrorism???Wierdos!! i said we could help her to reach her home safely and assured her that we would catch the culprits behind dis as soon as possible.

but she wasnt listening.Her face was now contented...she mit have felt releived by saying all these to me..i thot.But she had different plans.



"AAARRRGH!!!!",she screamed and ran through the corridor of the police headquarters.Everyone who tried to stop her failed...hw can a little girl break the strength of policemen???but dis wat lyf sometimes do. 2 people.She was running upstairs..we all ran behind her...yes,i was sure she was goin 2 jump...she wanted herself to b a lesson for her sisters in the country...she is goin to do dat wid her death...i called downstairs to make arrangements in case nethng happens.But i was late...she jumped off the 6th floor wid no second thought.



Police sirens....ambulance crying...flashes of cameras...people talkin...mobile phone ringing...wait!!! is it frm her bag???i checked...yes...may be frm the group..or her parents...or salim...dn knw...i looked at her motionless body...was she smiling???may be...



The phone kept ringing....

Rainbow

I can feel the chill..snow right beneath me..i cant move…I cant even crawl…gunshots everywhere…a few minutes ago I was also one among them, firing at the opponents with no mercy at all…and now.i am here…lying down on the snow…blood over the body.Surprisingly I cant feel any pain…how can i…my body has gone numb…I can feel nothing…or have I ever felt anything in my whole lyf???Nothing….nope,wait…I can now feel it…an urge to live…a feeling I never had for my entire life…I want to live because I saw it…through my watered eyes…I saw it on the sky…a rainbow!

“How many more we have to run ali bhaiya?”,I shouted and asked one of the guys who were running with me.
“3 more kilometers,amir”,he shouted back and that sounded like an order.
We were at a training camp.to be more precise a terrorist training camp.Dont frown…I know everyone hated the term itself.But not everyone…bcoz  we never called it in the way others do.We fight for our rights.Our rights are what we feel right.And for that, no matter who….what…why,we are ready to drop our blood…sacrifice our lives..!!

“Thank allah…it’s over”, I was panting like a dog after that session.I never thought I will have to take this much pain to be so-called terrorist…in our words…a jihadi.As a child I always liked guns and bullets.I liked it when my abba shot down cranes and hunted deers and pigs.But later I realized that abba not hunted animals,but humans also.I was never sent to school or college for my education.My abba and several others in the village never believed in it. When I reached the age of 17 I was taught that our lives are indebted to Allah and it is our foremost duty to serve allah even if it costs our lives.

At first I was terrified at hearing this.I never liked to kill humans.I liked to hunt down birds and animals just like my abba did,bt humans…never.But unfortunately,religions were created by humans,not animals….eventhough a few weels later I realized that animals were better….

“Amir!!!Amirrr!!!”,Ali bhai was roaring at me,his eyes red.his eye are always red.
“Are you dreaming???” he roared again.When he do so,most of the people standing near to him drop their heads down.They do so not because of respect or to watch the grasshopper jumps…but to avoid themselves from a splash of saliva that escapes out of his mouth.I always liked this funny stuff and I used to laugh…in my mind.

Ali bhai was a very experienced warrior.He has done many wars against our enemy in Kashmir.We all admire of his scars and bullet marks over his chest.Those were the signs of a hero.Me too wanted to become one.And now I am ready to go.

“In the name of Allah,let me tell you that your training period is over.Now I send you to a village in India-occupied Kashmir called Gilgit.I want you to stay there for two months and be our informers and from there you can come over the LOC very fast.Every move of the Indian army and the local police must be informed to us.Are you ready?” Ali bhai asked us.
“Yes,bhai”,we all said unison.Everyone, just like me, was excited at this.Our first mission.That to in the enemy land.Perfect.
But I was a bit disappointed that no guns were provided with us.Only some daggers and other knife-stuffs.Any way I got ready to go both mentally and physically.Finally here is a chance for me to do something for my religion.My heart filled with pride.

We were in Gilgit in two days.we were 9 in number.Dont know how our head officials managed to get us there across the boundary.Gilgit was a beautiful village just like every other village in the Kashmir region.Snow hills with its clear lakes, pine forests and of course beautiful girls.
I can see the white snowy mountains shining like large glass plate at a distance,tall pine trees decorated with lumps of snow and overall I can see a beautiful Kashmir village out there.My friends were also mesmerized with this beauty of that place.

“Hey amir,you are not a tourist here.”,Mahmood,one of my friends,reminded me.
Oh shit! Yes , we are not here to enjoy the beauty of this village,but to inform our seniors back at our motherland about the movements and plans of the Indian army behind those icy mountains.Suddenly my mind woke up from the soft feelings of a young boy to the frozen feelings of a warrior,just like the ice!

I was the team leader for this group and I had to plan how everything must be done in a safer manner.we found an abandoned building and decided to stay there and keep our weapons there.I just looked around from the top of that building.Again those soft feelings came running back to me but I shooed them off.It is not the time to tour,it is the time to war….the Holy war!

I could see a hotel to my right around a 100 meters away,a small tea shop to my left and a lake in front of me,a 100-200 meters away.On the other side of the lake I could see some children playing or running,laughing…may be a school,I thought.Behind the school,it is green.Yes,that is the pine forest through which we have to make our move.I weaved my plan in my mind just like a spider weaves its web to hunt.

At night,we gathered in the building to discuss our plan.There was no light except of the few candles we lit.I started.
“Listen,we have got 2 months from tomorrow here in this Indian village.So far we have got the information that the war will most probably start from October.Our national army is planning to take the full advantage of waging war in the onset of winter season.But our enemy is not a fool not to take any counter-attack measures.”

“Arrey,don’t give us the usual ‘commander-pep-talk’..just tell what is your plan!”.i was interrupted by asif and everyone else laughed.Yeah,why should I waste time.

“ok..ok…here is the plan.First,we should not give any notion to the local people here that we are from Pakistan.For that we should as nice as possible towards the people here.Have food from the hotel nearby,talk in Hindi and just walk around in the evenings.”

Everyone listened. Yes,they are interested to my plan.

“Everyday 4 of us will be patrolling the mountains behind that school.for that we have to cross the school premises.”

“How can we do that?we are new here and surely they’ll ask us.,”again I was interrupted by asif.I think he is not as interested in me as he is in the plan.

“That’s a gud question.We have to make some of the children of this area our friends and we can get into the school through them.got it?” I asked.

“I hate to be with children.But the plan is a sort of gud”,again asif.

“I’ll take care of the children,”I said,”and when 4 of us are in the mountains 3 of us should be outside just roaming here and there and watch the local police.And the rest, be in the building and communicate with us through the walkie-talkies….k?”

“That sounds good,amir.We are on for it!,”mahmood said and everyone nodded in support.

So that’s it.Finally I made myself a leader.

The mission started early the next morning itself.Weeks passed and still we couldn’t get past the school.Somehow I managed to be close with a boy named Munna ,a 9-year old boy,but he always refused me to go with him to the school.The team members were frustrated at this.They told that we would just sneak through the school but I waved all those rubbish ideas away. I wanted MY plan to work out.

It was almost a month.Our head-officials were very much frustrated with our slow approach and they denied any extension of our time in India.But the next day it happened.The most wonderful day of my life.

“Amir bhaiyya,can u please come with me to my school,My mom is ill.please…”,it was Munna.
I was waiting for this.My friends too were excited at this.They exchanged smiles.
“Oh sure,no problem at all.come..let’s go”,I said.
“Thank you,Amir bhaiyya”,Munna said
I should say thank you to you,my little boy.I thought with a smile.

We took a small boat to cross the river and reached the school.I steeped into the school compound and I studied the surroundings.It is easy…very easy to cross the school.In fact there were not much of students or teachers.And no one would even notice if someone pass through.Hmm…thanks to this situation of education in backward Indian villages.

But I was stuck at a window.Two eyes were staring at me.At first I was a bit tensed as I thought whether It was police but it wasn’t.Me too looked back.Two beautiful eyes…then it disappeared.i was disappointed.But then she was there,out on the corridor…She was completely covered in her purdah.All I could see was her eyes….two beautiful eyes…she disappeared to some classroom.

‘Who could she be?A teacher?’ I was thinking while I was coming back to the building.’Or some child’s parent?’ I did not like that assumption,so I did not consider it.
I just saw her eyes but it was enough.I don’t know how might she luks like,but she must be beautiful.

“Sahib,u have to get down”,the boatman said to me.
That awoke me from my thoughts and I saw my friends waiting for me.I did not want to tell this to them.Why should i?

They were all happy that the school obstacle can easily be overcome.Me,mahmood and asif were assigned to go to the mountains and that made me more happy.I could see her again.May be.

I don’t know y I felt like that.I have never ever even thought about having a girl in my lyf.To be precise,I have never looked at a girl or neither liked anyone.I just did not believe in love.I just wanted pride…the pride of being one of the warriors who fight for the Holy religion….the Holy war…
But now…I feel different..may be this was written..otherwise how can I feel like this just by seeing two eyes…not just eyes,beautiful eyes.I wanted to talk to her,but how…I don’t know…I just watched the star studded sky and slept by dreaming those eyes…

“So let’s go….it is time!!!”,I shouted at my gang members.I was so excited not just because I was going to spy my enemy but also that I am going to meet those eyes again.
Mahmood and asif came running by and were ready to go.we hid our equipments in a school bag and we got into our boat.

My hear was pounding fast as the boat nearing the bank.’Whether she’ll be there?will she look at me?’ all these thoughts kept ringing in my mind….more precisely in my heart.
We got down form the boat and headed for the school with Munna with us.We entered the compound and asif somehow disappeared to the forest behind the school.
My eyes were searching for those pair of eyes.My eyes scanned the windows,corridors and every corner of that school.But I couldn’t find them.I was disappointed.
“what are you looking,amir?we haveny got much time with us!”,mahmood said.
“i….”,I did not know what to tell.

“Excuse me”,a sweet voice fell into my ears…that too a female voice.
I turned with anticipation.Yes! those eyes were right in front of me! I did not move..i just stared into those eyes and to my surprise,she too was looking at me.My heart told me to speak.Yes,I am going to speak….
“Amir,step aside yaar…we are blocking her way”,Mahmood interrupted me.
I moved aside and she walked by.I was looking at her till she reached the verandah.Again,to my surprise,she turned.
“Amir,we have to go.”,mahmood whispered.
“Yeah…let us go”, I said eventhough I did not want to.

We laid our equipments on the snow and looked through the binoculars to get any signs of enemy.But I was not at all focusing on that.Those eyes were haunting me. Somehow I finished that day’s job and returned to our den.That night too I watched the sky and slept dreaming of her.

Days passed.Our meeting became a frequent activity.I knew that my likeness for her had grown to love for her…and I was sure she too was feeling like that.but we never talked.And I decided to break the silence between us.

The next day I saw her.I asked her without any hesitation or introduction :
“Do you love me?”
She was not surprised.I could see that in her eyes…She looked at mine for a few seconds and nodded.I could see her smile in her eyes.But what she asked me almost killed me…
“I love you too…but you are here to kill all of us na?including me….”,I was taken aback.
“what?i…..”
“I know…I know why you go to that forest every morning…I know where you are staying…I know what all things you have in that bag…I know you are from Pakistan…dint ask me how I knew all these…but I know…”,her sound was trembling as she said this.For the first time,I saw those eyes filling with tears.Me too was on the edge of crying.
“But still I love you because…I don’t know…I just love you..eventhough u r an enemy of my motherland…I just love you”,she was crying.

At that moment I realized that love has no line of control,no politics,no boundaries…

I didn’t know what to tell her..how to console her.I just dropped my head down.

She walked away.Mahmood came near to me and said,”I need to talk to you.”

“what do you think amir?we have got just a week left in this village and now you are in love with a girl?that too an Indian girl?”mahmmod was shouting at me. Asif was listening.

“Mahmood,she may be an Indian…but she loves me knowing that I am a Pakistani.There is nothing like Indian or Pakistani when it comes to love…it is a matter between heatrs yaar…”,I said

“Oh..now u became a saint?talking rubbish philosophy…We r warriors…we are in a Holy war…and against this country in which your so-called lover lives….one day or other we are going to kill all these people…Sometimes you will have to kill that girl too!”

“SHUT UP,mahmood!”

“I know how you feel like,amir.But our aim,our war…..”

“Our war! We wage war for our religion,huh?what is the logic in that?The people living in this village are also muslims…our religion,right?and now u r telling me that we are going to kill them all!!! Killing our own people in the name of our own religion!!!great!!Is dis Jihad?”

Silence…

“Have you ever thought of your family after our deaths?you fight,shed blood and sacrifice your live for your religion and what about your wife,mother,children….?will this religion take care of them?No…is this Jihad??”

Silence…

“Did Allah ever asked us to fight and kill the people of other religions to raise the greatness of Islam?No…have you ever thought of the hundreds of innocent people whom we murder in bomb blasts?No…Is this jihad?No this is not Holy war…this is murder…murder of our own religion!!!!”

No one spoke a word. I just walked out of the room and sat near the river.

Just one more day.I was waiting at the mountains to meet my girl.I saw a black dot down the mountain and it became bigger as it moved close to me.It was my love.

“I am going tomorrow morning”,I said
She nodded.
I didn’t know what to tell more.I raised her face and kissed  her eyes…those beautiful eyes.Both of us were sure that we would never ever again see each other.we sat there and watched the rainbow above us…till evening…

“I know how you feel,amir…but..”,mahmood tried to console me.
“Mahmood,do you know how much important she was to me?Look at that rainbow, mahmood..my heart was like a colorless rainbow…and she was the one who painted it with the seven colors of love…and I promised her that I will never allow to fade that rainbow….”

And now am here…deeply disappointed..i couldn’t keep that promise…because I am dying…I can just hear the gunshots…the roars of the Indian soldiers and the agony of my friends…I just looked up…and I was happy…because the rainbow was there…I could see her eyes in that…I just smiled and closed my eyes……..in a hope that the rainbow will never fade….

Sreeraj

3 boys

“Get up! Do have any idea what the time is?? Get up!!!”
I woke up from the bed hearing my wife scolding me. Oh these women…don’t they know the joy of sleeping? And my wife is not going to leave me even on this Sunday.

“Oh…it is too early to get up dear. What’s so special today?”, I asked her. Ma wife’s face said that there was a bit of anger in ma words. I hoped she would walk out of the room and leave me and my bed alone again in my room. But she didn’t. She gave me little slap on my back and shouted
“Did you forget that today is Guddu’s birthday? What a father, oh God! Doesn’t know his own son’s birthday”, saying this she walked out.

Yes, today my Guddu turns 22.How on earth could I forget that! Guddu, my son, is studying in an engineering college in the city. Gautam, that’s his official menon. Very brilliant, studious, always in the first slot in the school days, sings well, plays well…..oh am sorry.. when I tell about my son, am like this. But really, really he is good.
I planned to visit him today and handover my gift to him by myself, which is going to be a surprise for him. In order to do that, I have to catch the 6.30 am train and I had to wake up by atleast 5.Oh! no its already 5.30!

“Hey, stop dreaming there and get ready fast! You have to catch a train!”, my wife shouted from the kitchen.


I just got into the train and the train moved with a grunt. Oof! that was a close call. I had to literally vroom on my old chetak to reach the station on time. Luckily there was no rush in the train and I got a window seat.I was thinking what I should buy for Guddu. A shirt? Pen? na…a pair of shoes?? No No.. sunglasses…yes, he always liked to have those. But never persuaded to buy him because he was well aware of our financial situation. Good boy, na? Lucky me.

I did not mind a boy and a girl sitting right opposite to me until I heard an ‘ouch’ from that side. I looked at them and the boy smiled at me. I smiled back and observed them. The boy seemed to be around the age of my son’s and so as the girl. Obviously they were lovers. I did not feel any awkwardness in that as some other people of my age may feel because mine was also a love marriage.

The morning had a calm sky and a cool breeze. As I was about to fall into rest of my interrupted morning sleep, a voice woke me.
“Hi Uncle”, that was the boy who sat opposite to me. I looked around but couldn’t find the girl. As if he knew what I was thinking from my facial expressions, he said, ”She got down in the previous station”.
I wondered.I was awake till seconds ago and I did not see that girl going?  I realisec the people can sleep even by keeping their eyes opened.
“what’s her name?”, I asked. He didn’t say it but smiled. I asked again but he smiled. Oh, he had his ear phones on. How world has changed…no social mingling…nothing. A cell phone, some songs and a head set. A journey will be done with that. My guddu is not like that. He said he doesn’t want a cell phone because that will affect his studies. That’s my son. Lucky me.

The train halted at the next station. Another girl came and sat besides that boy and instantly he removed his ear phones and started talking with her.I didn’t mind because I hought this might be his friend as his girlfriend had already gotten down at the previous station. But as the train moved along I could hear more ‘ouchs’ and giggles from that side and I was confused. Two more girls joined that boy from other stations one after the other. No two girls met each other also. Clever boy, handling multiple lovers in a single journey. As I was a sincere lover at my age,I couldn’t stop my self from asking that boy about this.
He replied, ”Uncle, this is new world. I love one girl and when I get bored I go for another and so on. This is my life and I find enjoyment in that.”
Wow.. what a cute reply. I was shocked at hearing that. But at the next moment I was relieved at the thought that my Guddu is not like this guy. Lucky me.
But as the train sniffed and halted at the City station, one of the older people sitting near to me said, ”Do u know that guy? At that age of 22,he is one of the wanted criminals in the City. No evidence, no arrest. He pretends love to girls and cheats them. Sells them to a big gun behind this business. What a world”

I couldn’t speak.

I walked out of the station and started searching for a good shop to buy the sunglasses. It’s been more than a year that I have been here and thus I was a bit of alien to the City. I passed through the streets. Big malls, small sweet shops, Wine parlours, Clothe shacks, roadside vendors, hawkers but I couldn’t find a shop that sold sunglasses. I was a bit disappointed. I decided to have a cup of tea and walked into a small restaurant.

“Sir, what do you want, sir. Tea, coffee, dosai, poori, ghee roast……..”,a young boy asked me. I ordered a tea and I don’t know what made me observe him. He was tall, dark and had long hair. His eyes were small and his smile was cute. When he smiled I wondered where on earth his eyes would have gone. Anyway I decided to ask him about his whereabouts.

“Anything else, sir ” he asked again as I was about to pay the bill.
“Nothing, but I want a help from you. Can you find me something in this city for me?I am a bit new here.”,I asked.
“Sure sir.I think I can get an hour free from this hotel.Let me ask the manager and I’ll be with you in ten minutes”,he seemed so happy to get a free hour.

“A pair of sunglasses?haha.that is not a hard task uncle.I know a shop right opposite to the State Bank building.”,he laughed and said.
I thought why should anyone laugh at this.Is it a big joke to buy sunglasses?
Suddenly he turned a left and quick right and we entered into a place that seemed to me like dungeon.Both sides of the narrow road were flooded with small shops with cloth roofs and bamboo pillars.The boy with me told me that you can get any thing from here you want.Ranging from those that are used in New Jersey to even in Pakistan.he was right…I can see that.Every shop had items that showed international tags.The complete world in a small street.

“Don’t admire much.Those are all duplicates.You can get duplicates of anything from here.Watches,casuals,shoes,sunglasses,even underwears”he smiled.I always wanted to wear a Jockey,but certainly not the duplicate.
“you can even forge govt documents,papers,marklists and even more.And no one cane even decipher them as duplicates.That is the perfection this street has” he said.
Perfection in duplicating the originals.Great irony.I thought.

“Do you mind if I ask about you? Your name, where you live and all? I tried to divert the topic.
He said his name but I don’t remember it.
“I live in the backdrops  of the city with my mom and my brother. As  you see and hear in every tragic sad stories,I am very poor and mom has this and my brother has that and all those blah-blah-blah.I work in that hotel for a small money and that is not enough.So I sell drugs here.”

What?i was surprised at his coolness in saying that.I am walking with a drug-seller?I thought he was a good guy.But?i somehow wanted to run away from that street.

“Show me the shop.I want to give the glasses in an hour”,I asked him.I think I sounded a bit harsh.He smiled again.That smile had everything.Disappointment,sadness,longing to live in a good way and the thought that he made one more man to hate him.
But I didn’t hate him.It was the circumstances that forced him to jump into this shit pool.I prayed to God to bless him.

It was a hazy brownish one. I liked it.Eventhough it had cost me a 5000 I was happy.I was happy because my son would be happy.He will surely like it.
I said thanks to the waiter-boy and gave him a 100 rupee note.He smiled again and said good bye.Eventhough his eyes narrowed  I could see his eyelids becoming wet.
I sighed and walked to the bus stop.

Oh! What a day! I thought while I was sitting in the bus on the way to my son’s hostel.Met two boys and both of them revealed the darker side of this world.Some great man had once told ‘catch them young’ and now the evil hands are doing that.I felt happy for my son because even when he is in the midst of all these things,he is still my Guddu.I smiled and said to myself,”Love you my son”.

I reached the hostel and I could see boys wandering here and there.Some were playing football outside,some busy on their cell phones,some watching tv in a hall,some smoking…smoking?oof!
I didn’t find the warden there.So I called a guy and asked about Guddu.
“He has gone out”, he said. Adamant.
“Where to?” I asked.
“Don’t know.May be some project stuffs.He always goes out in the evenings.busy guy”,he said.Adamant.
I felt sad.But the very next moment I felt happy that he has gone out for studies.How can any one study between guys like this one!
“When will he come?any idea?” I asked again
“No idea.Usually he comes late.Shall I pass any message to him?”
“No..err..just giv this gift to him and tell him that his dad gave this to him.It’s his birthday”
I placed a note on top of the box,”With Love ,dad”.

I reached home by around midnight.Throughout the journey I was thinking how my Guddu would react when he see my gift.Will he jump with joy?Will he say ‘ love you daddy’?Or will he call me from someone else’s cell phone??gosh…now I wished if he had  a cell phone.Cell phone is good at times.

I walked into my house and my wife ran into me and asked me:
“Did you see him?what did you buy for him?What did he tell?How is he?Gone thin or still ok?” she was asking questions just like bullets are fired from an AK-47.
“easy..easy…he is fine and very happy.Asked about you and asked me to give you a kiss for him”,I lied.
“That’s my guddu…I believe the first part and I know you made up the second part just to find an excuse to kiss me”,she left for the kitchen.
Women.They are clever at times.I had a bath and went to sleep.I slept fast and you know why.

I woke up the next day again hearing the same alarm of my wife.I had to go to the office.
But I felt lazy.i walked out into the drawing room and switched on the tv.i ran through the channels and…wait.
“5 boys were arrested for drug business and usage in the City”
I stopped at that channel.I listened.i just came back from that city last night and look what happened there.I wondered whether that waiter-boy would be involved.
“5 college students were arrested last night in the shipyard while trying to sell 2 kgs of Heroyne.All of them were under the influence of the drugs too.”,the news went on
“The accused are Narein,22,Vijay,21,Alex,22,Bejoy,22 and Gautam,22.”
What?Gautam?My heart beat got faster and I started to sweat.No it cant be.That might some other gautam.i tried to console myself.But…
“Gautam a.k.a ‘Guddu’ is the leader of this gang and is suspected to have contacts in Mumbai drug markets”,

the remote fell down from my hands.

I thought…Lucky me?